Category: Uncategorized

love and grief sat across in a diner

Posted on by Jahnavi Dhir

Here’s to the second poem of NaPoWriMo’24. This isnt exactly based on a prompt- but a tangent on a random prompt I saw somewhere. There is not much I can say about this piece- which is rather rare for me. Writing vaguely isn’t something I’ve heavily delved in. But it was nice to tap into something not personal for once. To love and to grief. And their children- intensity.

love and grief sat across in a diner
both a splitting image of the other. 
the waitress asked what they would like, 
in synonymity they replied 
“intensity” and their eyes locked. 
what is more intense and than a lover on a rainy day?
but what is more intense than a grieved on a beach? 
both with passion in their veins 
shook the walls of speech 
i cannot look at you and smile, said love as it broke. 
i cannot look at you and cry, smiled grief as it bellowed 
for you are too sweet, and i too bitter, but made of the same fabric, in our truth we cannot lie
i am your rendition, said grief to love
i am you when you have nowhere to go 
i drink anger in cups of regret and 
neither you nor i can be forgotten
some look at me and search for you, whispered love at grief 
there’s you in me when directed at the wrong man 
but there’s us in them, and horror in each one of us 
said synonymously as they perched over the booth 
there stood a couple, young and in love, 
across the street a single old man waiting for his wife to grip his hands
she would never come and he would never stop wishing it wasn’t true 
never stop flexing his fingers for yet another touch 
love and grief sat opposite in a diner 
both a spill it if image of the other 
and there comes the waitress, 
“i’m sorry, i think i have your orders mixed up”. 
they laughed and disappeared into cups of coffee 
one black and one mocha
yet a splitting image of the other.

and with that, I am only a couple days behind. I hate institutionalised education.

bye snakers.

Street kids.

Posted on by Jahnavi Dhir

The forgotten ones.

In today’s hustle and bustle, we generally seem to forget about the society and it’s components. It’s a complex structure and needs a lot of attention. Majority of our society consists of children. Some privileged and some on the verge of ruins.

Children are sought to be future saviours. They have the opportunity to change the way society functions and to improve all the negative impacts humankind has made on our planet, but what if a major chunk of these children are left malnourished and ill?


Children whose parents are well, earning and able to provide, live a healthy and happy lifestyle, while those who are left to rot by their parents or whose parents are no longer alive have to face the ugliness of homelessness from a very young age. Even if they have extraordinary talents, they will never be able to utilise them for the betterment of themselves or society. This is an issue that impedes the development of a nation and humanity as a whole. Children are sometimes forced to live on the streets, eat scraps of other people and earn almost nothing. Even though the government has planned for these sort of children, the benefits haven’t been able to reach all.

Education has been made compulsory for all children under the age of 14, but many just don’t have the resources to reach schools themselves. Let alone gain education. Even though the government has made schemes for them, it isn’t enough because it’s rarely implemented in real life. The people should do more, the government should try harder, to provide kids with a better livelihood and lifestyle. To give enough funds to orphanages, and NGOs. People should be more aware of these issues, because when a person is aware, they will be more willing to help out. Books and clothes will be donated in greater quantities, and eventually, help more children. Adoption should be encouraged and taboos revolving around adoption should be discontinued. Upon doing these small actions, our society can make a great impact, because eventually, the society of the future is in the palm of the people living in the current era.

Overthinking.

Posted on by Jahnavi Dhir

Is Overthinking making you a sinner or saint?

Who is a sinner and who is a saint? Two polar aspects of being human. On one side we have someone who knows nothing but evil. Is cruel and someone we dread, on the opposite side of the spectrum, we have an imagery of a person who is more or less “divine”. Someone full of wisdom, knowledge and will always continue to do the right thing, an angel of sorts. But how do we decide, who a person is? Is it their actions? Thoughts? Societal position? Or something they do at night before drifting off to sleep?

Overthinking or Analysis paralysis, is when a person spends way too long, over analysing everything, which can range from life altering decisions to things as minuscule as the breakfast they’ll have the next morning. People can also have a varied “degrees” of overthinking which usually ranges from overthinking a couple of times in a week to being paralyzed while making important decisions and as a result, coming to no conclusion and missing out on a lot of opportunities.  

Sometimes overthinking can lead to a loss of observation and shifts your focus from the larger things in life. It can make you not acknowledge the endless possibilities and instead force you to look and spend your day thinking and analysing situations that may not even be nearly as impactful and this leads to a lot of wasted potential.

In a discussion with an anonymous source on their personal experience with overthinking, they described it as “a defensive mechanism”. In their words, “When you live in a household with parents that are OCD about everything and can be quite sensitive, it starts to make you think a lot more, probably to cope with the ever-increasing stress”. Further, the source explained why overthinking has also been beneficial to them. “I would say that being an overthinker is often accompanied by higher levels of empathy and reflectiveness. It also tends to help you become someone who is future oriented, which is a good trait when it comes to your career”

But that is just the pretty side of the underlying monster. Overthinking can lead to trust issues and insecurities if the overthinker is in a relationship. They can end up believing that an issue is bigger than it actually is, which is usually because they misinterpreted their partner’s actions. Too much of overthinking might even make someone avoidant of challenges and taking risks, which may impede on their ability to form meaningful relationships or achieve social goals.

In an interview with another source, they explained why they overthink. “I am pretty sure, I didn’t choose to overthink, but it chose me. I suffer from OCD and it’s not like most people expect it to be. Sometimes, I just HAVE to wash my hands 5 times, because if I don’t, my mind will convince me that someone I love, will pass away. And it’s not only things as small as washing my hands, it transfers onto obsessively thinking about that one incident that happened 2 years ago. I know that I always doubt my academics, or my achievements, I have felt like I didn’t deserve any of what I have, an “imposter syndrome” if you may. I have an obsession to make my family proud, and I always question if I am doing that. When I say “always”, I mean it. The issue is, I don’t have a clue WHY I want to make them proud; I just do. It’s just sad and depressing. It eats up a lot of my mental space and makes me tired on a ridiculous level. I wish I could stop it, but I just can’t seem to.”

All of the people who I’ve interviewed are teenagers. Humans that are just like you and me. But they continue to live with this unnecessary habit. Causing both pain and focus. Well, I was told to answer the question of whether overthinking makes you a sinner or saint, but I can’t do that. Not now, probably never. Because its not an objective question, it never was. Is obsessively thinking about your future, your end goal, a sin? Is over analysing your partners action a good and noble deed? We can never answer these questions because this “obsession” isn’t chosen by a person, it is inflicted onto them, it is not their fault, they are not the cause, and therefore, it doesn’t make you a sinner OR a saint. It makes you valid. It makes you able to analysis. It makes you wonderful. It makes you human.

-Jahnavi Dhir. 2021

The birth of streaming services.

Posted on by Jahnavi Dhir

Is it worth it?

Movies; for a long time, have been responsible for changing opinions, causing revolts and bringing about changes, amongst other forms of media. Since cinema is the most digestible, short, and easy to understand form of media, which portrays a story, many a times, personal and inspirational ones, it catches the viewer within a sense of relatability.

With the hustle and bustle of our ever revolving society, the amount of time one could take out, to consume entertainment, has been radically reduced. An average person can no longer watch a 3 hour movie, spend extra time on buying a ticket, and personally visiting movie halls. In today’s world, it is a luxury to even take out the time to unwind and relax for a few hours each day.

This is where third party streaming service comes into play. Entertaining Media, with each episode of 30 minutes, and movies of around 1 and a half hour, without the hassle of leaving your home or buying tickets. This idea of steaming services originated with the rise of mainstream cable television. People wanted to watch stories at their own preferable times. Play, pause, forward, and rewind. This could only happen with expensive DVD’s for each episode. With the rise of the Internet, all of this was available readily to the people and streaming services were birthed.

The inexpensive subscription that they provided, and the features they offered were unlike any other. People could now pay a monthly fee and enjoy unlimited access to infinite movies, documentaries or all forms of cinematography. As they grew to their fame, these services started opening their own production houses, hiring actors, and screenplay writers. Since they would launch all of their cinema on their personally owned streaming service, the fee which revolves around movie halls or public censorship was completely waived off.

This saving of money, was accompanied with another benefit, freedom of speech. They could say and portray anything without major consequences. With the passage of time, these services expanded further, opening quarters in various countries, shooting, producing and providing cinema to the mobile devices of people present anywhere.

Someone who lives in the USA could now watch a Spanish movie, which was either professionally dubbed, or subtitled.

This marked a new generation of consumers, who expected global access and inter relation of all media. They expected to consume mainstream media of all countries. And with that demand, music streaming platforms opened up as well. These companies would also pay the artists to publish their music, or videos on their platform. Examples of such internet based services are ;- Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, Netflix and many such streaming platforms.

As the dependency of consumers grew on these platforms, the more pride they started taking, and the more “freedom” they wished for.

Keep streaming and watching media, but be careful about what you are consuming as a demographic. 💓

A memorial for 2020

Posted on by Jahnavi Dhir

Throughout the year I have felt different emotions depending on different times of the year, for example when the lock down/quarantine started, I was hopeful that this year wouldn’t or couldn’t be any any worse, but 2020 surprises me with every passing month. Worse things happen every 30 days, we go through a rollercoaster of emotions. While many positive things happened in this year, which are very hard to count because those are so rare!

The process which I go through in my mind when I am sad or frustrated or angry is that I express those emotions with the help of rhyming words, and surprisingly that only happens when my emotions revolve around sadness or a low point in my life. On the other hand, whenever I am happy, I tend to write about my emotions in great detail. I tend to cherish and preserve those moments for ever, I tend to write journals, I tend to paint, I do art in general and write positive things or listen to positive music or basically be in a jolly mood.

Whenever I am sad, as I mentioned earlier ,I write poems, but that too with a specific niche! I never write about exactly what has happened in my life. For example if I have gone through a loss of a loved one, I wouldn’t write about their death in general, I would write about a metaphorical situation in which the character in the poem will go through grief, will go through the loss of someone but I wouldn’t mention how do I know that character ,what is the relation of the character, I would never mention that, I would just vaguely write about my process at that particular moment.

This is because I do want to preserve feelings of loss, frustration, anger, and grieving. I want to preserve those emotions but I do not want to be specific about where I felt sad “exactly”. I do not want to specify what was the low point in my life. Because if I do not preserve those emotions, I just become a horrible person because I don’t understand where I come from, all of the losses that I have held, all of the sad things that I have felt, all of the grieving that I have gone through. I would just remember the happy times and it would be toxic to my own self.

For every poem that I mention in this blog post, I will give a caption of what vaguely was going through at that moment, so in the future, that is 10-15 years later, when I go through this blog post, I realise how bad this year was and what exactly I felt. Not exactly “how” I felt it but “what” I felt. That is more important in my opinion! And here are the poems.

I can’t tell you (1)

I wrote this poem when it had been around 2 to 3 months in the lock down, and I couldn’t study. I was at an extremely low point in my academic career. I was suffering and grieving in silence and I totally condemn that. I believe that you should talk to someone, whenever you are going through a low phase in your life. I wouldn’t mention how I got to that point but just know that talking to my friends, to my family and opening about my issues to my teachers helped me a lot, and if you’re in a similar position you should talk to a trusted someone as well. Lots of power to you.

I wish I could tell you

I wish you could know

but I am too dam slow

if I were you talking to me

I’d most probably flee

I am the opposite of glee

I am full of crap

my thoughts are too hard to map

I am so done with things that bring me joy

lately I feel as if I was a toy

I do this ,then I do that

meanwhile I am just getting fat

but these feelings won’t just go away

they need a home

unfortunately I found a way

the parent is this poem

I am done (2)

So another thing that I am very open about, is my claustrophobia. My claustrophobia has been with me for a few years now and it’s not as serious as some people. I am very grateful to have it at mostly mediocre level so it’s not too hard on me. But obviously it brings a lot of anxiety, and it brings a lot of frustration, brings a lot of scary feelings. Basically this poem was when I went through a claustrophobia attack and I felt trapped within my mind, my body and my soul and again if you have an issue with anything, your mental health, physical health, emotional health, talk to someone, open up to someone, it does wonders. Lots of love

Maybe all I can do is give up

This is greater than just me

I always had a problem with people

I would normally just flee

I could never bring people glee

I wanna move on

I imagine myself in a jungle

probably the amazon

Trapped within the green

Why is it so dark?

Why is everyone so mean?

I wanna get out.. I just don’t know how.

help me?

Initially I thought that I would include more poems, but I don’t think that I can put together more sad feelings. I do have them preserved with me, and I recommend that you do it as well. You cherish every single moment in your life, whether it be good or bad. But you obviously don’t have to, if it brings you pain. Understand what your situation is, and cope with it through your mental process. Also if someone, anyone can benefit from reading these poems or my experiences, you can contact me through my social media which are going to be mentioned below and talk further if you wish to.

Thank you for taking out your time to read this and I appreciate all the love! happy journey✨

Instagram

The Maggot feeding Media

Posted on by Jahnavi Dhir

Screaming, Yelling, at the top of their lungs, cows mooing in the background, media personals surrounding the area, police officers guarding the people standing on an elevated surface. People speaking through the mics; yelling and shouting once again. Stone being pelted on the police officers and government officials.

A regular day in Shaleen Bagh looks like this. After the information was released before the public, that NRC and CAB would be implemented in the near future, people were agitated; furious and wrongfully protesting. While many of the people did not understand the whole concept of NRC and CAB itself, the majority of the public protesting were misinformed and kept in the shadows regarding the true meaning of the new policy.

This was caused by the drama hungry media of our country. India has always seen a bash between true reality and the fake persona that the media presents itself in. Since the messy break up between India and Pakistan, the media has always thought of itself as extremely powerful, as it rightfully is. But with power comes responsibility; and the mainstream media chooses to ignore the saying.

CAA which stands for citizenship amendment act was changed to CAB which stands for citizen ship amendment bill which was passed in 2019. It is now a law that has been approved by the President of India. The citizenship law seeks to amend the definition of illegal immigrants for Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist and Christian immigrants from Pakistan Afghanistan and Bangladesh living in India without documentation.

They will be granted fast track citizenship in six years. So far 12 years of naturalisation of residence require standard eligibility.

NRC is it register of all Indian citizens whose creation is mandated by the 2003 amendment of the citizenship act 1955.(When the opposition party was ruling). Its purpose is to document all the legal citizens of India so that the illegal immigrants can be identified and deported.

Reading this for the first time, you might wonder, “Why did people stand up against this?” Well this was because the media was feeding the people of India, especially the Islamic minorities; false information, that they will be deported no matter what. Visibly, the community was rightfully agitated. Since Delhi is the capital of India, where the President, the Prime Minister and the Parliament resides, majority of the anger was released here. Many commented upon gaining facts that the CAB preferred Hindus, Sikhs, Christians, Buddhist and other major and minor religions above Islam. To counterattack that, I would like you to read the paragraph regarding the definition of CAB, once again.

The countries mentioned in the CAB are:- Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and other Muslim oriented nations which border India. Since Hinduism, christianity, Buddhism, Sikhism, and Jainism are a minority in those countries, they require protection. And since India is the only country where a major religion, that is Hinduism; is in majority, it is our responsibility to protect our religious practitioners. Whether it be Sikhism, Buddhism, or Jainism, those religions are actually formed from the umbrella culture that is Hinduism. Since christianity is also a minority , it was also included in the CAB. If Islam was a minority in those countries, it would also have been included in the CAB.

The media acted like rotten fruits in the whole case where it fed germs and maggots. And the uninformed demographic casually ingested it. The only doctor which seem to control the deadly(quite literally) spread was the infamous COVID-19

Corona virus has taken millions of lives all around the globe, due to its safety measures, the protest which was violent at the time, had to be calmed down and eradicated on prior basis.

The ending wasn’t all sweet and magical though. As soon as the virus spread in India, under protocols, lockdown was imposed. But this didn’t stop the sheep, aka, citizens of India, to protest, that too, without masks. This incident, in the future became the main source of virus in the subcontinent.

As of now, the media is screaming, yelling at the top of their lungs. But for a different issue. Stones are being pelted on police for stupid causes. Media personal are squeezing drama from every controversy. And when the time arises, of the actual implementation of the laws, elevated surfaces will come on roads again, pathways will be blocked again, people will be killed again. As a democracy, we cannot stop the pseudo-secular force, what we can do, is get reliable sources, and true information. Ponder, form opinions, be vocalised about them, but with logic and reasoning. Nevertheless, cows will moo, everyday, in the background, no matter the evolution of mankind.

A Subtle Fatal Rebellion.

Posted on by Jahnavi Dhir


Children have an ever-changing mood. Something which is so erratic and volatile; that universities after universities have failed to come to study, that is the human mood, especially that of children. For the context, I was never a normal child, not that I had an issue with my health, but I always knew what to envisage, especially from children. I knew that they enjoyed the short-term, radical changes. Changes that are definitely not advantageous in the future. This was the one thing I hated about kids; their foreseeable nature.


I always saw myself as a soft, silent insurgence of my own kind. I, till date, like the subtle ways, by which you can create ever- lasting influences. I prefer to work through and with my hardships with a certain slow attribute, and end up making major influences. With my generation, this is definitely not uncommon. We have seen the effect WW2 has made on the planet; wars never end well, and we know that. Industrialization caused the earth to shaken its roots, but something which the world had never anticipated to be a threat, is currently thought to be the reason of the upcoming, possibly the last world war, is something as simple as WATER.


I read a poem by the prominent poet and author, Robert Frost, “Fire and Ice”, in which he discusses the end of the world. He stands with the people who believe that the end is through fire. But he did not see what the future generation would bring about. A change not even idealists or as ridiculous as it sounds, not even clairvoyants would know. The world we live in is ever altering, ever ameliorating, ever transitioning from one idea to another. There is a notion, a belief, that there is a bright light, somewhere in the hearts of the new generation, the one which is taking over RIGHT NOW! That reads out loud, “CHANGE”.

The children of today have seen depression, suicides, deaths, wars and what not.
What they haven’t seen is the clean sky, stars on a clear night. Food being given to all. This would be the cohort that changes the course of the human race, with uprisings taking place across the world about which not all know about. They are fed up of not being able to be in power. Not being given the basic rights all should have.

I am undeniably not talking about food, water, shelter or clothes. We have that in plenty. Actually, we have them in such amounts that they are being wasted and are a threat to the survival of the human race. But that is whole another story. What we ARE denied are clean beaches, fresh air, phenomenal views mother nature has to offer, acquaintances with faunas, being able to grow with and through the world, fall in love with it, understand its densities, and adore them, in a way our previous generations were allowed to.

That is the reason of the revolt in preparation that not even the young blood is aware about. Social media is a dais that our predecessor have left for us. Something that gives us the option to be someone, give ourselves distinctiveness. Away from all the hate, disgrace and rigidness of the world and what not. We are people who are making antiquity but are very much unaware of it ourselves. This is what has happened, we have been left purposeless. But the fact is, we are people who recover faster than we are infected. We are left with almost nothing to connect our souls with the planet with, but possessions which have disconnected us from everyone.

We are people who bring about revolts at the cost of nothing. Play safely, we obviously have the approach of saving our money like our pervious generation, but on the other hand, be honest about it; unlike them. We aim at having aims, are resourceful. Depressed but trying to be better and more open about it. We are the people of gays and lesbians and use those as compliments rather than humiliations.

Eventually, we are the subtle ones, not causing sweeping and thorough changes, small steps that cause fatal deviations, without being the cause of the end, but being the beginning of the starting. We are the “Subtle Fatal Rebellions