A person makes various relationships throughout their lives and the general rule of the thumb is that relationships are fleeting. Be it someone as close as your mother or as insignificant as that one kid that offered you their chocolate in elementary school. Either that person makes you, breaks you or has no impact on your life; you create hundreds if not thousands of relationships throughout your lifetime.

I have no idea if you as an individual believe in fate or destiny or soulmates, but I for sure would like to look forward to that one special relationship that would change me for the better. When it comes to the idea of soulmates, I do not think that a persons soulmate has to be someone they are romantically involved with In my opinion, your soulmate could be a friend, your siblings or your parents, teachers, anyone. Anyone that just, gets you.

And knowing the amount of people I do know, I have realised that most people do not get the opportunity to even meet their soulmates which is pretty sad when you think of it. But this gives you one more reason to exist, doesn’t it? the opportunity to form this very sacred, very deep, very literally, life changing, relationship. This one person who would embrace you for who you are and would be the cause of your growth. Similarly you would change this persons life too. They would get you and you would get them. Every thought, every emotion, you would get it. Would accept it.

But at the end of the day, the truth remains, relationships and people are fleeting. They are not forever. Forever is false. Every once in a while you meet this amazing person, might even fawn on them, but at the end of the day, some people are just not meant to be anything. Not meant to be friends, lovers, soulmates. It’s not even our fault, we as humans crave validations and will seek it from anyone and everyone. We crave this sense of affection and sometimes we do get it and obsess over it. Naive people might even base their sense of happiness from a person, which is again, a stupid idea since at the end of the day,

say it with me;

RELATIONSHIPS ARE FLEETING, TEMPORARY AND NOT FOREVER.

unless you are like very very lucky and have found your soulmate, and life is a fairy tale where nothing happens to either of you and you live happily ever after. I doubt that happens alot, amiright?

anyways, I formed a very close relationship with this one person, long story short, covid happened, and we lost touch and she formed another very close relationship, possibly wayyyy closer than I could ever gotten with her. sure, I am extremely happy for her, but at the end of the day, I am human. Jealousy is something I am bound to feel and honestly, we as humans need to normalise feeling envy and jealousy. THOUGH harming someone is bad and envy is not an excuse for that.

here is the poem where I express how much I know more about this one person, how I am more closer and try to make the new friend realise how much they actually have no idea about this person. Not to say that they dont already know it, I am just being petty and thats pretty much the whole concept of the poem. A 15 year old being petty. Which again, not the most suitable situation but the most realistic.

I wonder if she knows
How her best friends dad ditched her birth
How she hates her maternal aunt, 
Yet adores her paternal cousins
How when she says
'the other day' 
It could mean any day from her birth to yesterday,
And how that is copied off of a book she loves
How even though she doesn't particularly like books, 
She loves to read
How she doesn't particularly enjoy math
Yet never failed 
How she wishes to go away
But only with her mom
How her dad revolts her
But she cannot seem to give up
How that is close to me, 
I wonder if she knows how she liked history, 
But she would rather study english
How she learnt all poetic devices
In just a month
How she learns a new word each day, 
But never brags about it
How she had planned a trip to Europe, 
I wonder if her best friend ever thought of me
Ever realised 
I might be in need
Of just a shoulder to lean on
I wonder if she knows
I wonder if she thinks
I wonder when I'll stop wondering
And come to terms with
Having no-one to text when it all gets hard
Having to lean on myself
Needing only myself
Crying to myself
Because I tried being vulnerable before
And it didn't turn out great
Now I'm disgusted with relationships of all kind
But at the end,
It's ok. 
She was prettier,
Happier,
Friendlier, 
Better. 
And I wonder if she knows thats all that matters.

NO ITS NOT ALL THAT MATTERS, I SWEAR I WAS IN A DARK PLACE WRITING IT AND JUST REALLY JEALOUS, FRUSTRATED AND ENVIOUS.

DO NOT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.

THANK YOU!

anyways, I would like to be your friend if you want one, just contact me on my Instagram handle.

bye snakers 🐍