And then he wasn’t the same
He cried alone at night because 
Men aren’t supposed to tear away
Its shameful, its a sin
You cannot be vulnerable, 
You cannot be sufferable
Men cannot be defenceless
Men cannot be fragile
Because the moment you show that you are helpless
The gods will believe you are not suffice
But is it really so bad as to be sensitive?
To be open and cry
Because I’ve tried both ways of living
And it takes guts to be weak and 
Admit that without being high.

So the story behind this is kinda sad, there is this one guy in my chemistry class that was telling a story in a free period about one of his injuries, he was telling how deep it was and how much blood he lost, although when I asked him about why he smashed his hand in glass in the first place he said something along the lines of ‘ah my family- never mind its not important’ and it killed me to see how painful the memory is, or would have been for him. I’m not that close to him and I couldn’t or rather, shouldn’t have pried deeper and I didn’t. But I did mention it to one of his friends, I couldn’t even go to the teacher because I dont think he would like it or appreciate it, he has a ‘bad boy’ aura about him, but I’ve never seen him bully anyone or do anything wrong, so its more of a ‘tough guy, won’t cry’ situation. You know how teenage boys are, the typical kind. So basically I wanted him to cry, because I know he’s not reading this, he doesn’t even know I have a blog, but if by any means any teenage boy who is scarred is reading this, it literally is really tough for all parties involved, the person who probably knows about you, you, and the people who dont know about your issues, but love you and would rather help you than see you suffer. The kid I was talking about, he uses many things as a distraction from his pain. He has a girlfriend, which even though I can’t judge the relationship, I speculate is only for show. Not gonna lie, her girlfriend is also very similar, exactly same to be honest. So I think it is a symbiotic relationship. Anyways, he uses alcohol, women and sex to hide behind. He’s a nice guy, a respectful guy, but I really wish he talked more about things that hurt him rather than things that he can boast about. Everyone has issues, I agree. But that is why I believe that everyone needs a little help. Humans are not meant to be alone. It’s just not in the chemistry of us.

Anyways, I think this is the first time I’ve written anything real and personal here. I dont know, his expression while he said about his family just- disturbed me. I wish he would talk to me, to anyone and know he’s not alone. I can accord to that.

Bye snakers 🐍